Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Week provides an opportunity to reflect on the deep pain families face when they lose a baby. For parents, the grief of pregnancy loss is a complex and heart-wrenching experience. But what often gets overlooked is the grief experienced by young children who were eagerly awaiting a new sibling and now find themselves grappling with confusion, sadness, and loss.

The Impact on Young Siblings

For many children, the idea of a new baby is filled with excitement and expectation. They’ve heard about the baby growing in mom’s belly, maybe even picked out names or imagined what life would be like with their new sibling. When that reality changes—when they are told there will be no baby coming home—it can be a devastating and confusing experience.

Young children often lack the vocabulary to express their emotions or may not fully understand why the baby they were told about is no longer coming. Their grief might show in different ways: sudden mood swings, regressive behaviors, or simply asking “why?” over and over again. This is where the challenge lies for parents—how to help children process this type of loss while managing their own grief.

Coping as a Family

As parents, the weight of balancing personal grief while also providing comfort to a young child can feel overwhelming. The loss of a pregnancy brings not only emotional pain but also physical recovery, leaving parents drained of energy. Yet, during this, there is the need to be present for the children who are also experiencing their own form of grief. It is important for parents to remember that it is okay to be honest with their children in an age-appropriate way.

Children are naturally intuitive and can sense when something is wrong. Trying to shield them from the truth can create confusion and even more fear. Instead, using gentle language to explain that “the baby won’t be coming home” allows them to understand the reality in a way that makes sense for their developmental stage.

At Pollen, I offer books designed to help children understand loss. These resources explain that even though there was excitement for a new sibling, sometimes things don’t go as planned, and that’s okay to feel sad about it. By reading together, families can start difficult conversations that open the door for healing and help children process their emotions.

Resources and Support

Thankfully, there are many organizations, like Sharing Solace, that provide support and memorial items to families going through pregnancy and infant loss. These resources not only help parents, but they also offer ways to support the emotional needs of young children in the family.

Navigating this type of loss is never easy, but with compassionate guidance, parents and their children can begin to find a way forward. As parents heal, children can learn that it’s okay to talk about their feelings. Over time, families can rebuild their emotional strength together.

If you’re looking for resources to help your child understand pregnancy loss, Pollen offers books that can assist in explaining why no baby is coming home.

It’s okay to grieve, and it’s okay to seek support for both you and your children.